9 Hours

I have 9 hours left in my Pubslush campaign. This campaign is helping raise money to cover the initial costs of publishing.

After years of researching and contemplating and praying, I have decided to self publish, at least my first series.

Publishing of any kind comes with costs, it is a business after all. With contracts and artists and attorneys, it is rather a daunting task. It is starting your own business, launching your own career and it is as terrifying as it is exciting.

If you are in a similar boat, take heart you are not alone.

I would like to raise my glass (mug of coffee at the moment) to the artists, the entrepreneurs, the lone wolfs and risk takers that go it alone, the self employed, the business owners of every kind...here to you who are scared shit-less but continue on anyway.

May your dreams always start out as impossible. May your glass never be empty. May your moments, face down in the mud never stop you from trudging onward and may you never be afraid because someone says you should be. And, may all the no's be the epic drum roll to your own voice raised in a resounding YES.

And may you always take time for cheesiness. Because a good cheese is one of life's greatest joys.

Sometimes

Sat down this morning to write, I let my fingers lead and this is what came out.


Sometimes, the day is what you make
Sometimes, the day is what it is
Sometimes, the sun gets in your eyes
or the rain puts you at peace
Sometimes, it feels good to be sad
that is when ice cream tastes the best
Sometimes, it hurts to be happy
Feeling how we shouldn't feel

Water ruins shoes and cleans the soul
Dirt is the enemy or the joy of summer
Callouses may be rough but oh so necessary

Alone is lonely
Alone is needed
Tears fall from joy and from pain
Fear is natural
Doubt is certain
and joy can come through rain

Forever never comes, until you least expect it
Wishes only exist until they come true
Sometimes, our dreams can guide our future
but our nightmares can too
Sometimes, a smile is only a mask
but a frown can be one too

Sometimes, we think we are alone
until we step back from the mirror
Sometimes, the world is unforgiving
Sometimes, it is bitter sweet
Sometimes, our feet never leave the ground
and sometimes, the ground will leave our feet.

Pubslush Crowd Funding

A lot goes into writing a novel but there is a lot of other things that go into being published, (regardless of traditional or indie publishing). Legal fees, business licences, editors, formatting, art, design, more editing, marketing and so on. This campaign is to help me with those things that needed to be addressed before publication. 

Please consider contributing.
 https://pubslush.com/project/4238

Veteran's Day

Today we celebrate those who have served in the military. I want to extend my gratitude to the soldiers and their families. This country may have issues but so does my family and I love them just the same. 

Thank you to our veterans. 

Thank you to our service men and woman, active duty and contract civilians. 

Thank you to those who have died. 

Thank you to those who have suffered. 

Thank you to those who protect, who teach, who build, who guide, who write, who speak, who encourage and who fight. 

Thank you to those in the desert, on the front line, in the air and on the sea. 

Thank you to those behind the desk, on the phone, in the classroom and in the trenches. 

Thank you to those who are scared, who are lonely, who are homesick. 

Thank you to those who are strong, who are driven, who are proud and who put on that uniform. 

Thank you to the oldest man at the veteran center and to the newest recruit going through the ropes.

 Thank you to the wives and husbands who have to stay behind. 

Thank you to the boyfriends, girlfriends, mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters (all family) that live day to day with their loved one serving. 

Thank you to those who have lost dear ones.

 Thank you to the children that live their lives with parents in the service, the kids that move and change and always have to be the new kid.

 Thank you to all those I have not mentioned, my forgetfulness should not reflect on your importance. 

Thank you to our Marines Corps. 

Thank you to our Air Force. 
Thank you to our Army. 
Thank you to our Navy. 
Thank you to our Coast Guard. 

Thank you to our Leaders, our Soldiers, our Military. 

Crowd funding

Greetings all on this lovely November day. I trust those of you participating in NaNoWriMo are merely taking a short break to read my blog. (Thanks and good luck!) 
I am still in communication with publishers that have expressed interest in picking up my work, however, there are still things I need to pay for...licenses and such....
I used to hate asking for help. I didn't want to see needy or be a burden on sometime because even though my life has been tough at times, there are always others that have it worse. Part of me still hates asking for help but honestly, it is selfish. I don't want to be a bother. I don't want to be looked at down the ridge of someone's nose. I don't want...I don't want...
In reality, I do need help. That doesn't make me a lesser person, a lesser author, a lesser anything....it just means I ain't got the money. 
So if you are willing to partner with me and help get me off the ground, I would immensely grateful. It doesn't have to be a lot, just $5 or $1...anything. (If you choose to drop a few Benjamins, I won't stop you but I might faint.) 

My Pubslush campaign will launch in 5 days and will only be open for a short time. I urge you to become a FAN of the campaign and place your donation within 30 days. Thank you. If you have any questions, you can contact me on facebook. Lora Douglas. 

Thank you and if you are unable to donate but want to show your support, just became a fan and throw some good vibes or prayers my way. Thanks. 

https://pubslush.com/project/4238

IndiReConLive was FANTASTIC! Wonderful speakers with great information. I will be posting some contact info, helpful things I learned and more this week.
Right now, I want everyone to know that I now have a....wait for it....dum dum dum...a FACEBOOK ACCOUNT. I know right?

Yeah Yeah, I'm behind.

But hey now I have more than a fan page. You can message me, follow me and be my friend. :) Awe. Anyway, find me on facebook...Lora Douglas.

IndieReconLive

        Traveling to Indie ReCon Live tomorrow. Quite excited. To be honest, I don't know much about self-publishing but I am eager to learn. Plus, it is a great opportunity to meet people in the business and grow my little social bubble. 
        I will gather the information and nuggets of knowledge I obtain and share it with you in a follow up post next week. 
        I am also reading Fields of Blood: Religion and the History Violence. Be looking looking for my review soon. (End of October.) 

Want more information on the conference? Check out  http://indiereconlive.com/

Inspiration

According to Merriam-Webster

in·spi·ra·tion

noun \ˌin(t)-spə-ˈrā-shən, -(ˌ)spi-\

: something that makes someone want to do something or that gives someone an idea about what to do or create : a force or influence that inspires someone

: a person, place, experience, etc., that makes someone want to do or create something

: a good idea

     Despite the neutral stance of some nouns, inspiration carries a positive connotation. It invokes thoughts of encouraging light bulbs, steps forward, arms to catch you when you fall and reasons to keep climbing life's mountains. Inspiration decorates the walls of doctor's offices, board rooms, classrooms and places of worship. It litters the cyber walls of Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and others. Between the rants and crude humor it sits as a bright beacon reminding us that life's not all uphill and darkness. 

     Inspiration is the ladder out of the pit, the rope out of the well. It is the guiding light, the safety net, the first step on solid ground and the fuel for the dreams that make today bareable. 

     It comes in all forms. Words. Actions. Reactions. Decisions. Situations. Dreams. Desires. Attitude. People. Animals. Art. Numbers. Logic. Talk and silence. Company and solitude. Sunshine and rain. Life and death. 

     Inspiration comes to us on its own and it needs to be sought. Sometimes it is hard to find and sometimes it is waiting on your doorstep. But it is always there in the last place you look. 

     To discuss my inspirations, their sources and their impact, I would need years and a very captive audience. As most people, I have faced steep mountains and deep valleys. I have been in the pit, in the well, on the losing end. Life is a roller coaster, sometimes you scream and sometimes you vomit but there is no getting off the ride until it's over. 

     Through the darkness though, I have touched the ladder, held the rope and followed the light. And in turn, I have extended the ladder, steadied the rope and directed others to the light. 

     Life is about give and take. Blessings and sacrifice. Caring about myself and caring about others. Receiving help and giving it. 

     With a thankful heart I want to acknowledge some of my inspirations. Due to time and amount of space, I will narrow the list to those inspirations that relate to my writing. 

To the One that Created me and gave me the words. 

To the Ones that raised me. Who never made me feel like I was anything but loved for who I was. 

To the One that walks beside me. 

To the One that pushes me. 

To the Ones that humor me and are honest with me. 

To the One as strange as I am. 

To the Ones I miss everyday. 

To the Ones that don't exist but are very real. 

To the Ones that share their stories. 

To the Ones that lived their lives. 

To the Ones that have hurt me and forced me to overcome. 

To the Ones I never met. 

To the Things that fuel my dreams. 

To the arms ready to catch me and there to steady me. 

Though not have been people or living things at all, all have been my inspiration. 

Some Quotes that decorate my walls. 

Photos and Memes taken from: http://www.deviantart.com/morelikethis/276560994/cartoons?view_mode=2#skins  Featuring Chalkzone

http://alisonsiple.com/516430/harold-and-the-purple-crayon-chicago-childrens/  Featuring Harold and the Purple Crayon

http://bestpostarchive.com/page/17

Misery by Stephen King 

Ghandi

Vincent Van Gogh

Holley Gerth

Albert Einstein 

Pinterest

If anything is misquoted or attributed to the wrong source the fault is my own. 

Review: Spiritual Misfit: A Memoir of Uneasy Faith by Michelle DeRusha

     In life, we search for the path to take. Our feet move forward, our eyes look back and forwards, darting every which way in between. Our minds think clearly…in small spurts. Most of the trip it is knotted in a muddy haze of options, fears, hopes and self-doubts. Our ears seldom listen to the sounds of the present but focus on the voices of the past and unfortunately, the negative drowns out the positive ones. There are others around us, never on the same path but intertwining or running parallel.

     Spiritual Misfit: A Memoir of Uneasy Faith by Michelle DeRusha is a story of one woman’s path. From a young age, Michelle fought with the ideas, traditions and interpretations of religion. Life, as it does, goes on with its mountains and valleys. The constant rollercoaster of trials and victories, setbacks and praises, moments of light amidst the darkness. Michelle tells her story of faith, both lack thereof and sparking growth. Her voice is unique. The story is her own, every word. Humor and whit bring her ideas, struggles and breakthroughs to life.

     Spiritual Misfit is not only a story of finding faith but it is story of walking the road from childhood to adulthood. Things we see as children can take an invisible hold on us and permeate every aspect of our lives. As we grow, we learn to discern, to see things for what they are. We learn not only analyze but also, hopefully, we learn to break down the molds of logic, cynicism, and fear. Michelle reached a point where she saw where she had been, where her feet were heading and where she wanted to be. In bravery, she adjusted her path and made her way toward her goal.

     The journey is never easy, especially if you change your way but taking that step in faith, towards faith is worth every stumble. Michelle approaches a life of faith with real struggles. She paints the picture of real world issues and choices. Spiritual Misfit is a story of grace filled with uncertainty, fear, doubt, guilt and growth told with an amazing humor that allows the pages to keep turning with awestruck speed.

Doubt and faith can coexist. We are human. I believe that God doesn’t desire perfection but faith.

     Whether you are a Christian, considering a life of faith, lost on your path, in the mood for sarcastic humor or somewhere in between, Spiritual Misfit may be just what you need.

“I know in my heart and soul that God loves me exactly as I am, His beloved misfit.” Michelle DeRusha. 

Just kidding

My apologies to all. This blog will NOT be moving...at least not yet. I tried a free website thing and it is great but this is easier for blogging. So for now, I shall stay here. I am also wanting to vow to write and post more often...but I need a tad of encouragement. 

Some days it feels like I am posting to a void that reveals in the information and whimsy. It is cathartic, realizing, and fun. Other days it feels like I am posting to a void that is well...just that, a void. Oh well, such is life in a cyber world. 

To risk being a smidgen over dramatic I'm going to quote the 1998 cyber love story, You've Got Mail. (Remember when you at the watch the little man run on the screen to the sound of sputtering beeps, anticipation, drumming fingers, waiting, hope that someone send you and electronic letter with handmade emoticons? :) <3 

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."

PS. 

Not really sure the point of this post but I think sometimes we need to throw the logical point out the window. This is how I feel right now, in that moment. Sitting in my chair with my coffee, with my phone beeping that I have an appointment, the sun peeking through the windows on my door send funny little shadows across the wall for a cat to attack...this is how I feel. And that is just fine. 

Good day dear void. 

MOVING

Nevermind. Disreguard

Synopsis

You know you have a good friend when they read something you have worked hard on for weeks, look you directly in the eye, smile and say "You know this is shitty right?"
I knew she was right. It was bad. Though I had researched and practiced and asked for help my novel synopsis sucked. Now it wasn't terrible. Others had said it was pretty good, even though it made my novel come off like YA Romance *sigh* (Nothing against YA love at all....just totally NOT my novel).
Worst part....I already sent it to a perspective agent...I know I know...stupid right? Well the thing is that it wasn't that bad...

Anyways, long story short, my synopsis sucked. (And my deepest apologies to that agent....I can do sooo much better.) So I asked my honest friend, "What do I do?"

She said, "Suck it up. Stop whining about how much you hate writing the synopsis and sit down and do it right."

Powned! She had me. I didn't even realize how much my mental block against it was my own damn fault. So today, I shut up, sucked it up and wrote it again from scratch.


Here is a link to the best Synopsis help I have found so far.
http://www.publishingcrawl.com/2012/04/17/how-to-write-a-1-page-synopsis/

Words Said

Here is a list (in no particular order) of movie quotes I enjoy. Some enlighten, some inspire others entertain. Some may be cliche but others may catch you by surprise. 

10 Things I Hate About You. 1999

Cameron: We are screwed.

Michael:  Hey, no, hey. I don't wanna hear that defeatist attitude... I wanna hear you upbeat!

Cameron: [more upbeat] We are screwed!

My Girl, 1991

Vada: Weeping willow with your tears running down, why do you always weep and frown? Is it because he left you one day? is it because he could not stay? On your branches he would swing, do you long for the happiness that day would bring? He found shelter in your shade. You thought his laughter would never fade. Weeping willow, stop your tears. There is something to calm you fears. You think death has ripped you forever apart. But I know he'll always be in your heart.

Jurassic Park, 1993

Ray Arnold: Hold on to your butts.

Muldoon: [Just before he gets attacked by a raptor] Clever girl.

Dennis Nedry: [on computer] Uh uh uh! You didn't say the magic word! Uh uh uh! Uh uh uh!

Jurassic Park III 2001

Amanda: This is how you make dinosaurs?

Dr. Grant: No, this is how you play God.

Dr. Grant: God bless you, Ellie.

Independence Day 1996

Captain Steven Hiller: [talking to the unconscious alien he's dragging] Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy ass through the burnin' desert with your dreadlocks stickin' out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big and bad...

[yells]

Captain Steven Hiller: and what the hell is that smell?

[starts kicking the alien, yelling]

Captain Steven Hiller: I could've been at a barbecue!

[kicks the alien one last time and calms down]

Captain Steven Hiller: But I ain't mad.

Russel Casse: All right, you alien assholes! In the words of my generation: Up Yours!

President Thomas Whitmore: Good luck, buddy!

Russel Casse: Ha-ha-ha! Hello, boys! I'm back!

[His plane explodes, destroying the alien ship]

Cabin in the Woods 2012

Wiry Girl: That's not fair! I had zombies too!

Sitterson: Yes, you had "Zombies." But this is "Zombie Redneck Torture Family." Entirely separate thing. It's like the difference between an elephant and an elephant seal.

Marty: Good work, zombie arm.

Dead Poets Society 1989

John Keating: We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless... of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?" Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play *goes on* and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?

[Keating stands on his desk]

John Keating: Why do I stand up here? Anybody?

Dalton: To feel taller!

John Keating: No!

[Dings a bell with his foot]

John Keating: Thank you for playing Mr. Dalton. I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.

Under The Tuscan Sun 2003

Katherine: Listen, when I was a little girl I used to spend hours looking for ladybugs. Finally, I'd just give up and fall asleep in the grass. When I woke up, they were crawling all over me.

Patti: They're creepy. Creepy Italian trees. Of course, the baby's going to like them cause it's going to be a creepy Italian baby who goes around saying things like 'Ciao mama' and doing that weird backward hand wave thing. Life is strange.

Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.

X Men First Class 2011

Professor Charles Xavier: You know, I believe that true focus lies somewhere between rage and serenity. Would you mind if I...

[Charles makes a gesture to request permission to read Erik's mind]

Erik Lehnsherr: [Erik signals approval and while Charles reads Erik minds. We see moments of Erik's childhood with his mother] What did you just do to me?

[Both Erik and Charles cries]

Professor Charles Xavier: I accessed the brightest corner of your memory system. It's a very beautiful memory, Erik. Thank you.

Erik Lehnsherr: I didn't know I still had that.

Professor Charles Xavier: There is so much more to you than you know. Not just pain and anger. There is good, too. I felt it. When you can access all of that, you will possess a power no one can match. Not even me.

Love Actually 2003

Jamie: You learned English?

Aurelia: Just in cases.

[Natalie, a secretary, is greeting the Prime Minister]

Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. And now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir.

Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've said "fuck," and then we'd have been in real trouble.

Natalie: Thank you, sir. I did have an awful premonition that I was gonna fuck up on the first day. Oh, piss it!

Daniel: Tell her that you love her.

Sam: No way! Anyway, they fly tonight.

Daniel: Even better! Sam, you've got nothin' to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't! I never told your mom enough. I should have told her everyday because she was perfect everyday. You've seen the films, kiddo. It ain't over 'til its over.

Sam: Okay, Dad. Let's do it. Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love.

Sam: By the way, I feel bad. I never asked you how your love life is going.

Daniel: [mock chuckles] No. As you know, that was a done deal long ago. Unless, of course, Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case I want you out of the house straight away, you wee motherless mongrel.

Sam: Oh?

Daniel: No, no, we'll want to have sex in every room. Including yours.

Accepted 2006

Bartleby Gaines: Nah, I'm not going to answer your question, 'cause you guys have already made up your minds. I'm an expert in rejection, and I can see it on your faces, and it's too bad that you judge us by the way we look and not by who we are, just because you want us to be more like them when the truth is we're not like them, and I am damn proud of that fact! I mean, Harmon College and their - their 100 years of tradition. But tradition of what? Of hazing kids and humiliating anyone who's a bit different? Of putting so much pressure on kids they turn into these - these stress freaks and caffeine addicts.

Glen: An explosion of flavor. I'm working with some very unstable herbs.

Uncle Ben: [to Dean Van Horne] Why don't you take your PhD and stick it up your A-S-S!

Bartleby Gaines: Schrader, what about you? What do you want to learn?

Sherman Schrader: Well, B, I'm glad you asked actually, 'cause since we're going to prison, I'm gonna learn how to carve a shank out of my toothbrush.

Bridget Jones Diary: Edge of Reason 2004

Mark Darcy: [Bridget gets out of bed covered in a sheet and begins to fumble around] What on Earth are you doing?

Bridget Jones: Getting dressed.

Mark Darcy: Why're you dancing around in that tent business?

Bridget Jones: Because I don't want you to see any of my wobbly bits.

Mark Darcy: Well now that's a bit pointless, isn't it? As I happen to have a very high regard for your wobbly bits. In all circumstances.

Bridget Jones: [Bridget's head emerges from the sheet] Really?

Mark Darcy: Absolutely. I think it's high time we had another look.

[Bridget drops the sheet on the floor]

Boondock Saints 1999

Monsignor: And I am reminded, on this holy day, of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, a long time ago, almost thirty years ago, this poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered her calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But there is another kind of evil which we must fear most, and that is the indifference of good men.

Il Duce: Never shall innocent blood be shed, yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The Three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God.

Paul Smecker: There was a firefight!

Rocco: Fuckin'- What the fuckin'. Fuck. Who the fuck fucked this fucking... How did you two fucking fucks...

[shouts]

Rocco: Fuck!

Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

pa*tience

Patience

noun

1.

the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, 

misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the 

like.

2.

an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when 

confronted with delay.

Composure, perseverance, fortitude, endurance, restraint, grit.....WAITING 

I am not that good at being patient. Blame it on my German roots, my parents, or my restless spirit.  I do have patience with people....sometimes to a fault. Too much benefit of the doubt...too much lenience. But with situations, it is different story. 

I am currently waiting on two things, results from a job application and the impending judgment from a literary agent. Now I am not really one to fuss or blame the person. 

I know they are busy and have lives and responsibilities. I get that. I'm not tapping my foot at them....but I am coming unglued here. It is in a good way....excited, anticipation, ready to take the next step whatever that may be....but STILL.....

There is only so much pacing a person can do before they create trenches in their carpet.  

*Sigh* Most days I find things to do, stories to work on, things to...ummm....sort of clean :). 

But today, I want to pout. Pout and kill thing....(virtually of course). Looks a day of video games and day dreaming awaits me. 

Ten Ninety

     I wish everything could be fixed with Duck Dynasty

or Ninja Turtle band aids...Life can really throw curve balls huh? Sometimes the ball is low and outside. Other times it is a knuckle pitch to the face. Then there are the moments when it is not a ball at all but a grenade that doesn't need impact to explode.
        This past week was like that for me. It was an accumulation of so many things. The past few years a lot has happened in my life. Things that slowly wore me down until I was nothing but a shadow of myself. Physical illness and pain that destroyed my body. Doubt and fear that envenomed my mind and spirit. Sorrow, anger, loss, betrayal. The sting of words of advice that I gave from an open heart that were thrown back in my face. Times of worry that left my nerves frayed.
     I am sure you can relate in one way or another. Something I have learned is this world breaks people. Religious or not, no matter your view point, I believe this is true. This world breaks people. Life breaks people.
       So many times I have felt alone. I felt like I was the only one suffering with a certain problem. Like I was the only one that felt that way. The voice in my head, you know the one, the voice that tells you how pathetic you are. How lazy. How worthless. That nothing you do or say matters. That you are a failure. That voice. The one that tears you down. That voice made me feel like I was the crazy one. That no one would look at me the same if I told them what was going on inside my head. It told me over and over than no one would really, truly understand and worst of all...that no one wanted to.
          Well you know what? That voice LIES. All it does is lie. Yeah sometimes it sounds like the truth but all it take is a tiny twist and the truth is no longer true. And when a truth is no longer true....it is a LIE. White lie, red lie, black lie, flying purple polka-dot lie....all lies.
          So if that voice lies...then what is the truth? The truth is, no one is alone in how they feel. Yes you are you and you are unique but that doesn't mean that people don't care or understand in some way. The truth is you and I are worthy of love, respect, compassion and understanding. For so long, I could tell others that but I didn't believe it about myself. I believed it whole-heartedly for others....but not for me. Because that voice would tell me differently and all it took was me dropping my guard one time and that voice got in and made a little nest in my head.
          But not anymore! I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am strong. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are you and that is an amazing thing. (that's right YOU! I don't care if your own little voice is saying I'm not talking about you. That I don't know you...well tell it shut up or f-off...because I am talking to YOU) You are worthy and there are people in this world that will love and care for you...for you. For who you are and not what you can do for them. Find those people and cherish them...then be that person for someone else.
          Life is 10% the stuff that is thrown at you and 90% what you choose to do with it. Be strong and do something. I am struggling and fighting right along side you. Let's do something amazing :)

                                                                                                                              ~~Lora