This past week was like that for me. It was an accumulation of so many things. The past few years a lot has happened in my life. Things that slowly wore me down until I was nothing but a shadow of myself. Physical illness and pain that destroyed my body. Doubt and fear that envenomed my mind and spirit. Sorrow, anger, loss, betrayal. The sting of words of advice that I gave from an open heart that were thrown back in my face. Times of worry that left my nerves frayed.
I am sure you can relate in one way or another. Something I have learned is this world breaks people. Religious or not, no matter your view point, I believe this is true. This world breaks people. Life breaks people.
So many times I have felt alone. I felt like I was the only one suffering with a certain problem. Like I was the only one that felt that way. The voice in my head, you know the one, the voice that tells you how pathetic you are. How lazy. How worthless. That nothing you do or say matters. That you are a failure. That voice. The one that tears you down. That voice made me feel like I was the crazy one. That no one would look at me the same if I told them what was going on inside my head. It told me over and over than no one would really, truly understand and worst of all...that no one wanted to.Well you know what? That voice LIES. All it does is lie. Yeah sometimes it sounds like the truth but all it take is a tiny twist and the truth is no longer true. And when a truth is no longer true....it is a LIE. White lie, red lie, black lie, flying purple polka-dot lie....all lies.
So if that voice lies...then what is the truth? The truth is, no one is alone in how they feel. Yes you are you and you are unique but that doesn't mean that people don't care or understand in some way. The truth is you and I are worthy of love, respect, compassion and understanding. For so long, I could tell others that but I didn't believe it about myself. I believed it whole-heartedly for others....but not for me. Because that voice would tell me differently and all it took was me dropping my guard one time and that voice got in and made a little nest in my head.
But not anymore! I am beautiful. I am worthy. I am strong. You are worthy. You are beautiful. You are you and that is an amazing thing. (that's right YOU! I don't care if your own little voice is saying I'm not talking about you. That I don't know you...well tell it shut up or f-off...because I am talking to YOU) You are worthy and there are people in this world that will love and care for you...for you. For who you are and not what you can do for them. Find those people and cherish them...then be that person for someone else.
Life is 10% the stuff that is thrown at you and 90% what you choose to do with it. Be strong and do something. I am struggling and fighting right along side you. Let's do something amazing :)
~~Lora
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