I Love What I Do

So I have a lot going on right now. My first video is now on Youtube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kT5eGBk7pmU

It is not much but it is a start. Also my very first ever Cover Reveal for my novel will take place right here on April 14!

My first novel comes out on June 12th through Amazon.

This on top of my 'day job' that gets super hectic from March to August with camps and mission trips and fundraisers and paperwork, paperwork, paperwork....

Oh yeah, and I also just started my own business...like full out..taxes, bank account, no money...you know, all the grown up stuff. It was easier as a kid. I glitter glued some folders, printed out little cards on my mom's giant computer running MS-DOS. The only thing my kid business and adult business both have in common, no money (but for very different reasons). Adult business, spent it on starting said business. Kid business, got quarters from raking Grandma's leaves then jumping in the piles, only to rake them again, give parents foot massages for 10 cents a minute, then spending it on dollar store treasures and Power Ranger video tapes.


That all being said, I love what I do. For years, I chased after a goal down a path I had no business being on. I thought you had to struggle at your job. I thought it was normal to hate what you do but it's not. I learned the hard way, that what I thought I needed to do was not what I made to do. When I was a little kid with my glitter glue folders, I keep trying to be who I thought I was supposed to be instead of just being who I was. I thought (hey I am a girl who likes kids) I need to be a babysitter. This is just one of the roles I tried to force myself into because I thought that was what I was supposed to be. (Not anyone's fault at all. Most of my career chasing was all driven from my own thoughts and they were all good fields, beneficial, some were very honorable but they were made for someone else, not me. And that is ok.

When I was the girl with the glitter folders, inside I always wanted to do three things, Be a Missionary (non-denominational Christian focusing on humanitarian work, community development and human rights even at the age of 5 when I did know what the words were but I knew what i wanted to do), Travel the World (all of it), and Tell Stories.

When I stopped trying to fit in a box that wasn't made for me, and surrendered, I ended up here. Traveling, leading trips focused on building, cleaning and learning, and telling stories. (That I am proud of and despite my crippling self doubt, are pretty damn good.)

There is no point I am trying to make, no wisdom I am striving to impart. Just taking what is in my head and spilling it onto virtual paper.

I have a great deal of this to do (all the adult stuff included, taxes, refinancing a mortgage, chase around 21 teenagers, paperwork, laundry, cleaning, and car maintenance) but inside, I am still that little girl with big dreams and that glitter folder is on the ground under my feet. Truth be told, I never liked glitter anyways.

Facing Fears

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

A friend of mine shared this quote with me and it hit every fiber of my being and every wisp of my soul. Fear is something I have been consciously working to overcome for the past year. Not fear of anything in particular, just fear. I'm not scared to be judged, I don't like conflict or confrontation but I don't dread or run from them. I know illness and I have been close to death. I know I am not the 'society's definition of attractive'. I am too big, too masculine and I don't play social/emotional games. I know these things and I have grown fine with them. I like who I am....that being said, I am still scared. Not of anything but all the time. With the help of my man, my friends and my faith I have overcome them and found of the root of so many things. One by one (another one bits the dust) the illogical hold on me has shattered. 

With that, this weekend, I am attempting to overcome one more. For years, I have wanted to do a Vlog on Youtube. But I had too many excuses, too many fears. Now it is time to buck up and do it anyway. Be looking at the beginning of the week for my first ever episode. I am not promising anything spectacular but hey....ever spectacular is relative :)

Channel is Lora Douglas on Youtube. 

10 Things I Like that Make People Go “Whaaaat?”

Bee suggested that I write 10 Things I like that shock people. I’ll admit, this was more of a challenge…at first…then I realized I really am an odd duck.

10 Things I Like that Make People Go “Whaaaat?”

1. I like black coffee, black tea, black liquorices and dark chocolate

2.  I love documentaries over anything else, second place goes to 1970’s horror movies  ( I like scary movies because they make me laugh…every time)

3. Ok, I LOVE packing. Seriously. And I love airports. International travel (the process, not the actual flying) is my favorite!! (I think I have a problem…)

4. I like coconut…all kinds, even the gross snow cone flavoring. The best is fresh coconut right off the tree. Dunk it in ice, hit it with a machete and stick a straw in it….AMAZING!

5. For Valentine’s day, I like pizza, beer and Zombieland or Cabin in the Woods…that’s it.  We do that like every year. It is glorious.

6. I really like the smell of motor oil, grease and dirt.  

7. My favorite thing when I was in school was shopping for school supplies. Now it is office supplies. Pencils, Sharpies, Post-its….(I have an addiction to Post-its…the weirder the better).

8. I love Trivia. I know a great deal of random shit that really doesn’t help in everyday life but I can ROCK a trivia game.

9.When it comes to drinks….I like bitter stuff. Salty Dogs.  Vodka Chilton. Straight Bourbon with Lemon. Gin and tonics with extra limes.

10. I like Reggaeton….I do. Wisin y Yandel, Daddy Yankee and my favorite group that has one foot in this genre is Raza for Christ.