Friday, March 20, 2015

I Love What I Do

So I have a lot going on right now. My first video is now on Youtube.


It is not much but it is a start. Also my very first ever Cover Reveal for my novel will take place right here on April 14!

My first novel comes out on June 12th through Amazon.

This on top of my 'day job' that gets super hectic from March to August with camps and mission trips and fundraisers and paperwork, paperwork, paperwork....

Oh yeah, and I also just started my own business...like full out..taxes, bank account, no money...you know, all the grown up stuff. It was easier as a kid. I glitter glued some folders, printed out little cards on my mom's giant computer running MS-DOS. The only thing my kid business and adult business both have in common, no money (but for very different reasons). Adult business, spent it on starting said business. Kid business, got quarters from raking Grandma's leaves then jumping in the piles, only to rake them again, give parents foot massages for 10 cents a minute, then spending it on dollar store treasures and Power Ranger video tapes.


That all being said, I love what I do. For years, I chased after a goal down a path I had no business being on. I thought you had to struggle at your job. I thought it was normal to hate what you do but it's not. I learned the hard way, that what I thought I needed to do was not what I made to do. When I was a little kid with my glitter glue folders, I keep trying to be who I thought I was supposed to be instead of just being who I was. I thought (hey I am a girl who likes kids) I need to be a babysitter. This is just one of the roles I tried to force myself into because I thought that was what I was supposed to be. (Not anyone's fault at all. Most of my career chasing was all driven from my own thoughts and they were all good fields, beneficial, some were very honorable but they were made for someone else, not me. And that is ok.

When I was the girl with the glitter folders, inside I always wanted to do three things, Be a Missionary (non-denominational Christian focusing on humanitarian work, community development and human rights even at the age of 5 when I did know what the words were but I knew what i wanted to do), Travel the World (all of it), and Tell Stories.

When I stopped trying to fit in a box that wasn't made for me, and surrendered, I ended up here. Traveling, leading trips focused on building, cleaning and learning, and telling stories. (That I am proud of and despite my crippling self doubt, are pretty damn good.)

There is no point I am trying to make, no wisdom I am striving to impart. Just taking what is in my head and spilling it onto virtual paper.

I have a great deal of this to do (all the adult stuff included, taxes, refinancing a mortgage, chase around 21 teenagers, paperwork, laundry, cleaning, and car maintenance) but inside, I am still that little girl with big dreams and that glitter folder is on the ground under my feet. Truth be told, I never liked glitter anyways.

1 comment: